Happy Hump Day all.. IAF (It’s almost Friday).. Folks, you ever reach somewhere on the road while driving and have no memory of the entire route you took or what transpired on the road during that period? Speaking of which, I use to suffer from sleep walking as a child. Would wake up in some strange places in mi house and wonder who took mi there.. This match was pretty much the same.. Di match dun, and allllll noowwww I cyan tell u WHAT DA HELL just happened. So let’s look at tonight’s  line up. Oberlin High vs Westwood High. Going off track record we know Oberlin never usually reach far. Their claim to fame is All Together Sing. Tonight’s performance  was more like All Together Fling!!   But Westwood now… After such a stupendous and astounding performance from their predecessors last year , one would expect nothing less than the same from the Jippa Jappa beauties. Dem come een like  95% ..What is 95%? Jamaica Bob Sled Team. Why 95%? Cause dem get 19 outta 20.. !  Wi did a hope seh dem woulda do as well as the predecessors but alas.. the race IS for the swift.  Nuff respect to di team still. Did JA proud. .. But overall though, both teams  were as weak as LA Lewis detergent.. Bare OFF white him a wear… Wake up Westwood!! BTW.. Oberlin why uno hafi mek di whole Jamaica know uno chat bad?.  Marlene: “Spell the word ferocious” . Oberlin: “F-O-R-O-S-H-U-S”….LADADEEEEEEE…. Soun like one dog name “come here Foroshus”..  Anyway, Westwood… Try do better nex round. Final Score : 22:14.. SEVEN!!!

Happy Monday folks. Sad Monday to St Andrew Tech. Another school bites the dust bwoy.. And nuh ask if dem naine lick  di dirt  hawwdd tonight. Poor ting dem come a gunfight wid butter knife.  Not even scrape dem coulda scrape.  As Tanto Blacks would say Wolmers was SPECTACULA… TWEET TWEET…REAL RICHHHH!! First of  all I wanted to begin by saying  Wolmers’ did SHAT…. BUT mi withdraw mi statement QUICK QUICK due to di lickle scare weh did a circulate today bout the Wolmers boy who send vnote bout him ago shoot up school.. Next ting mi go cause panic and mayhem like Pinchie and di dumplin. Folks, it really sad that we now in an era weh  pickney  have big people  a run backa dem  out of fear. Dis generation vile sah. I tink is too much KFC and Pepsi cause dat. My days we had di good ole King Kong and  Sunkist box Juice. All stew peas wid spinnas cook food inna plastic or enamel  bowl  … A dat did SHAT .. Big up to all Primary School!! Nutri to di whirllllll….. LALALALALA! Anyway, St Andrew Tek 2 Panadol and drink lickle mint tea.. A muss nerves or hunger tek uno why u  spell curiosity and fuchsia wrong.  Like gas,  this too shall pass.. What I admired most  about Wolmer’s was at the end of the match they huddled…. And PRAYED… Warmed my heart. Now THAT impressed me more than the score.  Final Score – 43 – 9. Remember to hug your kids  folks. Show some love in these serious times..

Tonight’s episode of SCQ is entitled BDDT. The abbreviation stands for But Dem Did Try.. The battle of the two  parishes kicked off in such fine splendour. I being  an ardent supporter of ALL the girls’ schools had my hopes up seeing that their predecessors from last year performed marvelously . Plus they stood a good chance cause nobody from last year’s Titchfield Team was on  this year’s.. (Uno remember di man  Titchfield have last year weh ducta cuss wid cause him did look too big fi a pay half fare?) Anyway, this evening was like a  flashback of the Reggae Boyz Gold Cup  Finals 2017.  Dem never did win … But dem did try… This description amply applies to the lovely ladies of Holy Childhood. When mi seh di girls played with hearrttttt… It was more than  commendable.  The buzzer segment was like a scene from Titanic… Di longer di movie went on, the faster the ship sank.. Holy Childhood dominated the buzzers…. But not di correct answers for di questions… So like Titanic… Poor Jack did hope fi sail off  into the moonlight wid Rose. Instead, poor ting hafi chuck her awf pon piece a board and  tell her fi swim weh yuself.  But him did try. !! Speaking of Titanic, I remember going to Carib to watch that movie. One seat lef in di front row.. Dat a di row weh yuh hafi concentrate pon one side of the screen. When people a talk u hafi turn u head fi si who a speak. Anyway, weh me did si down… I coulda si UNDER the ship from di show start. Anyway,  Titchfield you looked look warm tonight.. Not sure you taking the title this year.. Final score 27-17. Soundtrack playing * Nearrrr farrrrr… wherevverrrr you areeeeee… I believe that the heart does go on *

Jamaica Jamaica Jamaica …. What a way tings water down… Plastic Rice, Condensed Milk, Milo, Bag Juice and policeman button cookies (young people nuh know bout dat). Tonight I’m adding one more to the list Calabar.. Actually Rab a Lack..  Rab a lack SOOOOOO  much tings dis ear… Di quality has depleted so bodly.(Sista P voice)  First time Rabalac use to obliterate their opponent with aggression and buoyancy.. Dem need a lickle  toops a Ardenne captain mix wid lickle St. Hughs..  Cause a from 1^st form dem a train like a Olympics dem a go.. But like a blind date with bad breath I was so disappointed.  Not impressed in the least. Before we proceed, let’s talk about the moderator.. I waan know is WHOOOO SAND MARLENE!!!  How Tvj fi have people with Flu a read question.?? At one time her inflection sounded like  she a suffocate. Strepsil sell a shop.. Good God man.. *Steupps*  SO let’s talk about the buzzer section. I was constantly pressing  close caption cause I couldn’t hear a reeeerdddd from neither dem nor Ascot.. The first 1min and 14 secs NO ONE ANSWERED. Bare bell a ring like JLP convention.  To end it, the  3rd to last question:  “15 % of  a number is 45.. What is the number?”…. *crickets chirping*…… *Owl hoots*…… Tumbleweed blows through studio.. I was like WHAT DA HELLLLLLLL!!! YWAL (Yuh want a lick)..  SO although RAB win, my prediction is they’ll make it to finals…. FOR CHAMPS. … Final score 29 -11