Goodnight Jamaica.. Tonight I was pleasantly surprized to spot a familiar face on Bridge Port High’s team. It was a  boy who just happens to be in the same class as my son. BTW, did I mention that my son is 1 Year and 3 months??? Weh di mada fi di pickney deh???  Jamaica I swearrrr, how in heaven’s name did they install a booster seat over night for the panel. Firstly, let’s talk about the ENTIRE Bridge Port High  Team… These children don’t even pass puberty yet. Matter of fact I doubt if dem  even have  underarm hair. Remember di True Juice cartoon ad? Dem same one.. So the opponents now.. One of my old time favourites Mona High. This teamed popped up on the radar in 2016 when they defeated Clarendon College. The following year they went toe to toe with KC. They didn’t win but they gave them a good run. Ended 29- 23. Suffice to say they ended  on a good note tonight. Obviously the more dominant from start to finish. Maybe cause Bridge Port spent so much time jumping up to reach  the buzzer.. On a serious note, Bridge Port didn’t do so bad. Di coach can gi dem a nice red ticky with  “Seen” for effort, plus 2 chee chip each.   Give them another 7 years and they’ll be more than ready. Final score 41 – 20.

Come with me down memory lane if you will.. The year was 1985 and a film called Police Academy 2 was made. In the cast existed a character called Officer Zed (real name is Bobcat Goldthwait). He potrayed the role of half deranged police officer with a speaking pattern similar to someone with Tourette Syndrome.. ).. Well folks, Bobcat is in Jamaica.. Saw him last night slightly tanned with kinky hair as the captain for Ardenne’s team..  Now this dude is NOT someone that can whisper to you. Him look like him a sleep pon speaker box from him deh pon di breast.  At one point  he shouted out something and my response was HALLILUUUUU  cause it really sounded like him was speaking in tongues. Is like di man a wrestle wid demons all night… SCARYY!!..  Now the match… Poor Bishop.. Poor Bishop.. Lawd mi feel bad fi dem. Is like 4 gunman hold up a 12 year old and tek weh dem  money DEN send dem fi buy lunch empty handed  AND  bring back change. A so di girls did  look. All when di match dun and dem acknowledge the coach.. She jus CUT her yeye… The scene was like  Bishop   standing  at a bus stop and all di fan dem a fan ,di buss naw stop.  Ardenne a di conductor a lick di buss and a bawl out PRESSSSS DRIVA.. Doah stop.. No Schoolas. (Remember dem days @Sharon Clayton??)  Hush yaw Bishop.. A di blasted purple color salt uno up. Final score 47 – 8.. PRESSSS along girls..

Good night all… I’m sure you’re all familiar with the expression “Never hit a man when he’s down”… Apparently, Campion never heard of or seen that expression. Caw tonight dem KICK DOWN Jonathon Grant, Stamp inna dem chess, carton BAX di people pickney dem den serve dem a backhand cross dem jaw bone.. You ever si drowning man a grasp fi air.. Dat was Jonathon Grant. Was like watching a swimming competition with Michael Phelps vs Oliver Samuels. TRAGIC. Now we all know di ungle ting dat would keep Oliver afloat is him sweet pepper nose. Unlike Jonathon Grant, dere was no nose fi bail dem out of their demise. And nuh asssskkk if dem naine did a fight. Speaking of big nose, how yu fi si pic of Phillip Paulwell and bawl out Andrew Wheatley?? Is like you ever wonder how much people weh heng demself change dem mind mid way? Well, we’ll never know.. But such was the case for Jonathon in the buzzer section… Dem squeeze in roun 4 touch off the buzzer, but only answer 1 right. The other answers were shakeheaded.. YES is my word.. Anyway, Campion had the team from last year with Steve Erkel so there was no stopping them. To be fair Jonathon Grant tried.. They went down fighting…., but so did Wendy Williams bra. Anyway Campion very impressive start. Final score 55 – 16.

And in the news last evening..It was reported by Tvj groundsmen that a Guardsman truck entered the premises around 5:30 PM, near to the time of the commencement of the first match.  Eyewitnesses gave statements of seeing 4 well dressed  hostile Dobberman dogs parading  in Knox uniforms, alighting from the pickup vehicle, unshackled and  unapproachable. The sign on the vehicle read DO   NOT FEED TILL AFTER THE 6:30PM.  Jamaica… Truss mi… Mi never deh deh but I belieeveeeee it. From Knox step inna di studio not one puss was in sight. When mi seh di man dem did VICIOUSSS.. Mi  naw tawk Qualo vicious.. Mi a tawk RENATO vicious.. Any how piece a meat did  drop inna di studio dawg woulda nyam dem supper.. LITERALLY..  Di team intimidate JP so bad that  during buzzer section all when Lacovia press first  him jus seh “Go ahead Knox”!!  No SAH.. Anyway, their stats almost bettered Jago’s. They went into speed section at 36. Jago enetered at 37. They ended on 48. Jago was 55. They would have passed it had it not been for careless answers in the final round.  But… DEM BAD… Keeping my eye on them. Final score 48-15.

Second match Scammer city vs St. Catherine High.. So let’s talk about St. Catherine. Was a team of 3 girls and 1 boy. Now…I trying to decipher WHAT di boy was there for.. Was he an armrest? Paperweight ? Team Chaplin? Cheerleader? Body guard? BUS DRIVER??? Smady PLEASSEE find out and get back to mi. Otherwise a better dem did jus carry on cardboard cut out of him face or a photoshop him in..  Just like 3/4  of Parliament, him nuh serve NO PURPOSE… Mobay had  an all girls team weh actuallllly work. Not a bad performance from dem but dem naw go far.. Final score 29 – 21.