Where ma ladies attttttttt??? Woot Woootttttt… So firstly it was so refreshing to see 2 all girls’ schools  compete.. Tonight  was a fair attempt by both to cop the position for the next round.  Now if is one thing I can definitely compliment BOTH Teams for, is that these girls LOOKED  like school girls.. Mi like when dem hair cooombbb like school girls…  Lovely canerow and well groomed.. Matter of fact I saw a lot of natural hair tonight. None a dem did have half poun a baby hair comb down inna dem face or  stiff hot curls. Plus nobody did look like dem did a nyam fry fish a Hellshire before dem reach di studio.. Di shiny shiny  lip gloss can be so bloody distracting.. Now, my money was on Mt. Alvernia from  the beginning..  There’s something very pleasantly  calming about their composure.  It was a crucial and slighty sticky situation too.. From Speed Section to Buzzer section it was neck on neck.  Merl Grove was at 19 and Mt. Alvernia 18 when the speed section ended.  With 1min and 14 secs left on the clock for the buzzer section,  every question asked was never answered… Do you know the tremendous stress that places on one’s heart? Final score was Mt. Alvernia 26 Merl Grove25… But Merl Grove mi hafi cuss uno. Wth 8 seconds left in the  game,  question was asked. “what is the english translation for the Jamaican word “Comoonging”  – Come onnnnnnn girls!!! Look how much man out ya tan so..  GEEEEZZ… Anyway, enjoy the one day  holiday folks…

Top of the night folks.. In the immortal words of the group Queen in 1980 .. “Another one bites the dust.. And nuh asssskkkk if Bog Walk wasn’t belching dirt all nighhttt…. The poor unsuspecting victims went up against one of Scamma City’s finest powerhouses Cornwall College. Home school to my legendary dad Balvin Johnson.. They made him  proud in all their splendour.  SO let’s first talk about the introduction of Cornwall.. Have you seen the amount of badges on their jackets?  From a distance it look like when ole time helper a hang up clothes and have di clothespin dem line awf  pon her dress. Look like di team did stop a Spic & Span before di match. Now we all now, Scamma City  knowwwss how to DUN people (Right Qualo?) .. So tonight wasn’t really a surprise. But I found my self laughing uncontrollably at Bog Walk  High – Why? Because during the Opening Challenge and  speed section every maths question dem quickly bawl out PASSS before di question dun read. Now inna di buzzer section when JP a  ask  maths question yuh waa si dem a draw fi pen and paper… No more than a draw dem si down deh a draw stickman or play Boy Girl Animal…… Bog Walk u  tink u easy!! Not to mention when dem ask what colour was a ruby. Answer: “Blue” Look like too much Gorge mango mek uno yeye dawk…  PLUSSS Michael Jackson  apparently sang My Perrogative. … LADADEEEEEEE.  . Anyway they surely departed in the words of the Michael .. BEAT IT!!! Final score 40 – 3.

TGIF That’s what tonight’s segment is entitled. Please note that in THIS case, TGIF isn’t  what you’re  use to knowing it as. This TGIF means Tenk Gawd It Finish!!. That was the sentiments of two of the schools participating in tonight’s Double Header matches.. Cause next to Mobay and Clarendon, people deaaaaaddddd  badddddd tonight bwoy. First match up was Immaculate vs Vere Tech.. Wonder Women is what I called these fabulous felines.. Quiet a very spirited bunch with quick witted reflexes and shrewd brilliance. Who run di World ..GIRLLLSSSS!!.. Yuh si wosss like how a bare bwoy did deh pon Vere Tech Team… Shame woulda NYAM  dem up and BELCH pon top a dem.. When the bell ring you coulda si di  relief pon dem faces that read TGIF.. Tenk GAWD if finish… Anyway, walk good  Vere.. Try explain to di district why uno mek woman beat uno.. Sweet mi u  si. Final score 34 – 20

And nowwwww a feature Presention. SCQ’s version of Passion of the Christ. As we approach the start of lent, this match was so fitting.  And truss mi, many were weeping at the final outcome. St. Mary was WHIPPEDDD, battered, bruised, mocked and scorned..  For never before did they have an inclination of the margin of loss that would have been suffered here tonight.  So let’s talk about St. Mary.. Is 4 people mi si.. But ungle 2 me  hear a talk.  So it leaves me to conclude that is 2 ventriloquist mek up the entire  team. All I know dem talented BADDD…  Di way dem mek di head dem turn and di yeye dem blink… MAGNIFICENT.  Manchester Manchester Manchester… If mi luv uno one more time…. U si when di buzzer section start.. mi mumma….. Is like di  camera man hafi dive  and roll out di way  fi mek  dem gallop through the studio.. Di way di points did a  mount up mi swear a cricket mi a watch. All di captain. Any how him nuh get work, him have a promising future in Mosquito swatting.. A SO di man a slap down di place. Guess St. Mary did have one hand pon di puppet dem mek dem  couldn’t squeeze even once. NOW when di match dun, their limp bodies uttered TGIF.. Tank Gawd It Finish.. Anyway, still love uno…… BANANA CHIPS.. Final score 65-15.

Good Day y’all.. Welcome to the afternoon segment of SCQ.. (Sorry mi late).. Quickly now… The 2 schools featured lastnight were Mannings Hill High and Ocho Rios High, Who remember what Mannings Hill was famous for last year???? Yes, you over there that Googling, go ahead.. It was that institution that  said Whatsapp was developed in 1937!! LOL and YWAL (You want a LICK) ..  So from that day since they were known as the Whatsapp Boys… So lastnight now we had Whatsapp vs WhatsUP…. Like What’s UP with that lame score Ochi  dudes???  All  di buzzer section,  di 2 time uno press it uno shoulda jus seh PASSS… WAW (What a waste)… . Actually let me not criticise dem cause the team from last year shoulda did  name WHATDAHELL . Like What da hell uno bada lef Ochi Fah?? So let’s talk about these Jamaican cultural  questions that NO BODY IN JAMAICA or OCHI uses..  Ques: Finish the Jamaican expression “When kitchen dresser fall down….?” Answer: “Dawg laugh”.. Jamaica, look pon mi face GOOOD!! Which kitchen have dresser??..And a which dawg woulda have time fi a skin teet afa furniture. Eff dem lie one more time.. Orrrr “Di yeye of the massa, fatten di haws”.. KMDT.. SMH.. TPFE (Tek people fi ediat). Final score 33 – 5. Anyway,  MGNL (Mi gone nyam lunch) .. Lata